| I love the place I work at. It fucking sucks, but I have great stories to tell. Today I am going to tell you two stories:
I was stocking candy and I overheard my co-workers (AKA: the team) talking about a mess in the bathroom. I said I'd take care of it and I went into the bathroom and I look into the second stall. I've never seen anything like what I saw in that stall. Someone's shit exploded out of their ass and landed on the wall, the seat, the floor, the sides of the stall, underneath the stall, and everywhere else in between. I ran out of the bathroom holding my mouth. I went up to my manager's office and said 'Someone... uhhh... defacated all over the wall in the boy's bathroom. I'm going to clean it up and then perform an exorcism inside of it.' He laughed his jolly laugh and said 'We have a lot of sponges, you can use those.' I went downstairs and thought 'FUCK THAT, I'M NOT USING SPONGES.' I went into the janitors closet and looked around. I found some heavy duty gloves and put them on. Then I saw something, I decided to use it. Next, I found myself with a mop in my hand mopping shit off of the bathroom wall. Randi came in and brought the trash can closer to me. I found something on the flusher. I picked it up and saw FRUIT OF THE LOOM written on the waist band. Yes, it was the man's underwear. He was a large man. I threw the undies in the trash can and jumped out of the stall and nearly threw up. That was the only time I nearly lost it. I finished my job and walked out of there. I gained a lot from this experience: respect from my co-workers, the worker of the week award, and the knowledge of how to clean shit off of a bathroom wall. My God I am not paid enough.
I was stocking candy and Ricky comes over to me and tells me that there was a problem in the bathroom. I told him I would go in there with him, so I did. He told me to go look in the handicapped stall. I followed his command and peered inside. I saw a man sitting on the toilet. He had passed out and he had his hand clutched onto a rail. I jumped back and looked at Ricky and said 'I think he's dead.' Ricky said he had passed out and he told me to try to wake him up. There was no way in hell that I was going to get close to him. Trying to awaken the man, I said loudly 'RICKY, THE THEATER IS REALLY DIRTY TODAY!' We heard a weird noise and left the bathroom. I cleaned up an Icee off of the floor and looked at the door. Ricky got my manager and they went in there. The man had disappeared. My manager had called the police, so they showed up. I approached him and said 'The individual left.' He chuckled and inquired 'Did he leave the building or go into a movie?' I replied 'He kind of, disappeared.' He said 'Okay, if you need us again, just call.' Once again, I gained respect. My God I am not paid enough. |
